12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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