I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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