I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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