wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
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I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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