her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
