He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
