areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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