He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
