Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
