he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
