Where did you get a picture of my penis
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
