hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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