please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
