do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
