I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
