Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
