I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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