I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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