Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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