I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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