well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
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