I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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