We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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