If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
