I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
