I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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