she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
