YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Be still, my beating vagina.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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