so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My brain says no but my pants say off.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
