did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
