doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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