And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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