U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
