I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize