So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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