And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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