they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Someone came in the potted fern
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
