Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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