I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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