I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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