just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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