i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
