i permit you to call me
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
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I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
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Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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