She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
