she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
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