That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
