If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize