hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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