ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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