I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
