the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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