1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
