I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
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He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
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My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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