sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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