I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
When did angry sex become our thing?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
