I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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