coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
