who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
