K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
